Strange Days 2 - Interlude
by miyukichan
Summary: Continuation of the one-shot fic 'Strange Days'. Having worked out their differences, Katsumi and Takasaka acknowledge their attraction for one another, but fail to get much further than that... and Katsumi is not a patient person. This fic lacks angst an
1. Chapter 1

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude By Miyuki-Chan 

Standard disclaimers apply. 

_Author's notes: This fic is dedicated to Awaresa, for believing in this fic when I had written it off as so much rubbish and just for being there when I needed her. Without her support and nagging for new parts I am sure that the fic would never have been completed and would simply have languished in development hell forever... _

*** 

Katsumi was well aware that Koji had been giving him those funny looks out of the corner of his eye for most of the afternoon and he didn't give a damn. That said, Koji had every right to be doing it. 

Katsumi had arrived at work depressed and hung over and had been silent (at least silent for him) for most of the morning. Then he'd taken a break at about 1 PM and retreated into an office with the intention of sleeping off his hangover. He'd left the office fifteen minutes later looking like a cat that had been at the cream-that is, horribly pleased with himself and slightly guilty with it. He'd spent the afternoon in a horribly good mood and Koji had been left wondering (to himself) if his friend wasn't on drugs. 

Koji was not in the best of moods himself, so he had been quite glad to have Katsumi quiet for once and wondered why he had ever thought it might last. More than once during the course of the afternoon he had forced himself to resist the desire to hit Katsumi, who was doing a fantastic impression of an airhead. Koji knew Katsumi was not stupid so why he had to act like an idiot all the time was quite beyond Koji's ability to work out. 

"I thought you had a hangover." Koji said a little crossly after Katsumi had made several totally uncalled for remarks about Izumi. "Correct!" Katsumi grinned. "So why the hell are you so cheerful?" When Koji had a hangover he just wanted to stay in bed and often attempted to pester Izumi into joining him. Normally Izumi responded to his harassment by hitting him over the head with a pillow, calling him a drunken idiot and then walking off in a huff (or at least attempting to. Koji was not above grabbing Izumi's wrist and thereby forcing him to stick around). Katsumi folded his arms. "Oh come on, Koji! This is me, remember!" Koji frowned slightly. This was getting incredibly annoying. "So. Since you're in a good mood, is there any chance of you telling me what happened yesterday?" "You already worked it out, stupid." Katsumi attempted to pout angrily, failed miserably and giggled in a manner which reminded Koji a bit of Akihito-except Katsumi was laughing because he thought something was funny, not because he was crazy. "That's all?" Koji felt a little startled but refused to show it. He had an image to maintain. "Hypocrite!" Katsumi again attempted to look cross. "How many times have you drunk yourself stupid over Izumi?" The most irritating fact here was that Katsumi had a point. "Has anyone seen Taka-chan?" he continued, changing the subject completely. "I've completely forgotten what you were meant to be doing this afternoon…" 

Koji wondered to himself what Takasaka had made of Katsumi kissing him. Koji kind of wished he had been there, although if he had been there then nothing would have happened. Still, it must have been kinda funny. 

Koji guessed correctly that Katsumi's sudden good mood was to do with Takasaka too but it probably wouldn't have been a great idea to take it up with either Katsumi or Takasaka. Katsumi was too busy being a pain to give him a straight answer to anything that afternoon and Takasaka would like as not have made several clumsy evasions and had a panic attack. Or quickly changed the subject. Or something. That man was not cut out to be a manager. He had said so himself. 

Looking at Katsumi he attempted to suppress a giggle (again for the good of his image-men like Koji did not giggle, they left that to the Katsumis of this world). Katsumi was the kind of person who was kindly described as "vivacious", unkindly as "a pain in the ass". He could be serious when the occasion demanded it but preferred not to. Takasaka on the other hand… well, he often hung around Katsumi (or rather Katsumi often hung around him, there was a pretty large difference) and they seemed to get on all right but in terms of character he couldn't think of two men more dissimilar. 

They'd make an absurd couple. 

*** 

Katsumi wondered how long he could keep up acting like an idiot. He didn't want to act this part right now but he couldn't have revealed his true feelings at the moment (the fact that he desperately wanted to ask Koji just how exactly you went about dating another guy without the world finding out didn't come into it, of course). Not in front of Koji who thought he was an idiot for even entertaining slightly impure thoughts about Taka-chan. 

If Koji knew just how impure some of his thoughts had got… 

That would have been, well… embarrassing. And necessarily he had to keep the fact that he'd just attempted to teach Taka-chan how to kiss in a deserted office strictly to himself. 

Taka-chan was actually surprisingly good at kissing. Katsumi wondered how he'd learnt considering he appeared to have nervous attacks every time someone so much as brushed his sleeve, how on earth he'd ever managed to learn to kiss was probably going to have to remain one of life's little mysteries. 

As would the fact that… gods, he'd practically asked Taka-chan out! Talk about embarrassing! Katsumi often gave the impression of being completely unembarrassable and more or less unshockable. He wasn't. He was just good at hiding it. He had been more than a little startled when Koji had started to chase after Izumi and had actually tried to warn him off. 

Anyway, what with the fact that Taka-chan's sensibilities meant that the affair had to be kept more or less secret-telling Koji would NOT be advisable for a start, and he was probably Koji's best friend-this was going to be a lot harder than it had looked. 

He was already starting to think in terms of places to meet where they could be guaranteed total privacy. Again not for his sake (he wouldn't have minded telling the world and indeed almost wanted to) but for… his lover's? 

_This really is going to be tricky._

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	2. Chapter 2

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude By Miyuki-Chan 

Standard disclaimers apply. 

Part 2 

Katsumi arrived home feeling pretty pleased with himself. He briefly considered going out and getting drunk but as he'd only just got over the day's hangover that was probably a bad idea-no, make that definitely an absurd idea. 

_Oh, well… what to do this evening?_

Well, first off, he had to find some way to break the news gently to Miyako. He wasn't really sure of what had possessed him to ask the girl out in the first place when he didn't have any strong feelings for her. Sure, she was a good friend like a lot of the girls he knew were good friends, but not much more than that. Well, she wasn't much more to him, but he didn't know if he was anything to her. 

Okay, they'd gone out casually a couple of times and she'd let him try to kiss her-Katsumi had no illusions about where he stood in this respect, he was not one of the world's great kissers and certainly no Koji Nanjo when it came to attracting girls. He reminded most girls of their little brothers or those of their friends and how unerotic was that? It didn't help that most of the girls he met day-to-day were not girls at all but women in their twenties whilst he was an eighteen year old who looked and acted younger most of the time. Guys like Katsumi just didn't appeal to older women. Still, in the eyes of the world (or at least in the eyes of Koji's band and the make-up girls, which was Katsumi's world pretty much), he was seeing Miyako and couldn't honestly try anything on with Taka-chan whilst she was still technically his girlfriend. 

The direct approach wouldn't work. "I think we should stop seeing each other." "Why?" "Because I want to sleep with Takasaka." Nope, that was definitely out. And as he'd never been very subtle he couldn't think of any approach but the direct one. 

Whatever happened, Katsumi reasoned, he'd probably end up getting slapped. Still, that'd be an overreaction, he hadn't been dating her for that long. 

He wondered if he should phone Taka-chan and ask him if he was doing anything, if that wasn't a bit premature. 

Still, it wasn't as if he'd dragged the guy to a love hotel, thrown himself on his back and blatantly propositioned him so what the hell was he worrying about? 

Shrugging, he picked up the phone. 

*** 

Fast-forward a few weeks and find Katsumi in a state of sexual and emotional tension. 

He still hadn't worked up the nerve to tell Miyako about Taka-chan, but was hoping she'd get the hint and drop him quietly so as to save herself the social embarrassment of having her boyfriend drop her for an older man. Taka-chan himself was still being incredibly anxious about everything and since the day in that office they'd met up in private less than half a dozen times and had got practically nowhere (Okay, Katsumi had kissed Taka-chan rather inexpertly three times, but nothing else. He'd got further with Miyako. That was a depressing thought). 

The fact that Koji had caused a near-scandal by being photographed by a journalist having a very public row with Izumi in a park then kissing him passionately by means of an apology had added to their problems. Izumi had refused to speak to Koji for over a week following Katsumi breaking the news of the situation, so he had been kept busy trying to prevent Koji from killing himself with remorse and hard drink whilst attempting to persuade Izumi to forgive Koji. It had taken him ages and he hadn't liked it one bit. 

As for Takasaka, he had practically lived on caffeine over the problematic few days that he had spent in delicate negotiation with the newspaper, and had barely slept at all. Eventually after threats, bribes and a bit of outright blackmail the matter had been laid to rest, the photographs burned along with the negatives and the journalist who had witnessed the incident had been given a lot of money to forget all about what she had seen. Following the settlement Takasaka had been off work for a few days so he could calm down. 

Still, that had been a while ago (well. Nine days.) and Katsumi was frustrated. What he needed was money. 

*** 

He had to wait a few days to get cash, but when he finally did it was far more than he had imagined and what was better was that he was under strict instructions to spend it. 

"Hey." Katsumi greeted Takasaka with his customary formality. "You've got the evening off, haven't you?" He looked questioningly at him. He knew Takasaka had the evening off because he'd asked his uncle who had told him he wanted him out of the way for one evening. He'd refused to go unless Takasaka had been given time off as well. "I have?" Takasaka looked confused. "Yup, as of ten minutes ago." Katsumi grinned and Takasaka knew the boy had been pestering someone and got good results. "I've also been given lots of money so I'm taking you out." Katsumi waved some notes around. Subtlety had got him nowhere with this man, after all, so he'd decided to go for the direct approach and just cope with the inevitable fallout (panic attacks and the like). "Yesterday you borrowed from Nanjo so you could buy food." Takasaka reminded him. "You should pay him back first. Anyway, where did you get the money?" "From my uncle." Katsumi pulled a face. What was this, the third degree? 

Takasaka frowned, this conversation was making no sense, Katsumi was being deliberately vague and he swore he could feel his blood pressure climb slightly. He was on the verge of a panic attack just talking to Katsumi, this relationship was a seriously bad idea. "He just gave you money for no reason?" Katsumi had been brought up to be an essentially honest person. "Well… not exactly gave me the money. He called me into his office and told me he was meeting an important client and he didn't want anything to go wrong. Then he gave me this and told me to go spend it. Anyway, who cares? I want to get drunk, I haven't had a decent hangover in weeks. Are you coming of your own free will or do I have to drag you out?" 

*** 

The city was crowded, it being a warm night in late summer, and Takasaka apologised his way through the concourse following Katsumi who was in a ridiculously good mood and had determined not only that he was going to enjoy himself but that Takasaka was going to enjoy himself too. To this end Katsumi wanted to get his friend/partner drunk. He'd never seen Taka-chan drunk and wondered if it would make the man relax. Something had to make him relax although Katsumi privately suspected that he looked stressed even when he slept. This was another thing he intended to find out. He'd taken on as a life goal trying to get the guy to calm down, even just a little. 

He was going to sleep with Taka-chan even if it killed him. 

All the same it was not a good idea to kiss him in public and following the Koji incident he was not terribly keen on the idea anyway. Society didn't really like that sort of thing and it would no doubt induce panic attacks in Takasaka anyway. It probably wasn't a good idea to try and walk arm in arm either, but Katsumi honestly couldn't be bothered with that particular taboo so he induced the first panic attack of the evening that way and couldn't help but laugh at it. It was going to be that sort of night. 

*** 

The problems began at Katsumi's attempt to find somewhere to get drunk in that also wouldn't mind coping with the idea of two men trying to flirt with one another (or rather one trying to flirt, the other anxious in case someone he knew came in). Also he had to find a place where they could guarantee they wouldn't see or be seen by anybody they knew. Easier said than done. True, they didn't have Koji's problems (since when were the tabloids interested in the private life of a pop star's manager or the star's best friend? Katsumi was only newsworthy when he was around Koji) but there were plenty of people who knew the two of them by sight if not by name. 

The bar they had finally found was small and quite discreet, and seemed to be frequented by businessmen in their forties and fifties accompanied by girls in their early twenties. Married men having discreet affairs and a few groups of teenage office girls. And after about fifteen minutes there was Miyako accompanied by a tall, dark-haired guy who was about as unlike Katsumi as it was possible to get. Katsumi did a double-take and spilt some of his drink. "This is ridiculous. I just knew this bar was too quiet" Katsumi muttered. Takasaka had followed his gaze and noticed the girl, realising as he did exactly what the boy had meant by his comment. They both watched in silence for a minute or two. Katsumi's face was totally expressionless and Takasaka wondered if he was upset. Miyako was currently engaged in none-too-discreet flirtation, causing Katsumi to pull a face. 

"Good God, she's worse than a courtesan. I don't believe that girl." Katsumi had been stung by the fact that Miyako had another boyfriend, but he was secretly rather relieved. If she was cheating on him too then all he needed to do was tell her he'd seen her with another guy and as they weren't that close it would be easy then to drop her. Takasaka felt compelled to point something small but important out. "Um, Katsumi… aren't you cheating on her too?" "That's not the point, Taka-chan!" It came out a bit too loud and Miyako turned round with a shocked and guilty look. Katsumi decided the best thing to do was to brazen it out so he smiled at her and waved. "Hiii, Miyako-chan!" 

Yes, it definitely was going to be one of those nights, Takasaka thought, and with a sigh began to search his pockets for his nerve pills. 

[Onto Part 3][1] [Back to the fics page][2] [Back to the index][3]

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	3. Chapter 3

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude, Part 3 By Miyuki-Chan 

Standard disclaimers apply. 

Miyako couldn't believe it. She'd come to this bar precisely because it was small and quiet and she'd been assured that she wouldn't be recognised there so she could go there with her latest boyfriend in perfect secrecy. 

So what the hell was Katsumi doing here in the company of Koji's nervy manager? What were the odds of meeting up like this? Miyako had no idea but reckoned they were pretty high. She had been in some embarrassing situations before in her time but tonight was rapidly climbing into her Top Ten. As for Katsumi, well. He was embarrassed too, but didn't want to show it (partly it was a matter of pride, but mainly because he was Katsumi and didn't get embarrassed, he embarrassed other people). Besides, he could turn this situation to his advantage. Miyako was obviously with another man, but as far as she knew Taka-chan was his friend, nothing more, and the two could have been doing nothing more than drinking together-they were workmates, after all. 

Katsumi waved again-he was going to make this far more awkward than it had to be. She'd have made a hasty exit, but Katsumi liked situations from what Miyako could make out, why else was he still friends with Koji otherwise? 

Getting to his feet, Katsumi called out to the girl again. "Miyako! Who's the guy? I'd introduce you to Taka-chan in return but you already know him, so it would be pointless really…" Miyako found her voice. "What on Earth are you doing here?" "Same as you. Going somewhere discreet with a close friend." 

The conversation in the bar had become muted. People were clearly curious as to what this strange discussion meant. Takasaka, with the practised skill the very nervous have for knowing when they are being watched discreetly, attempted to pretend he had nothing to do with Katsumi and fumbled with the top of his pill bottle. Miyako walked up to them, closely followed by her dark-haired 'friend'. 

"Right, what on earth do you think you're playing at?" Miyako asked crossly. "Why are you here with Takasaka? What do you mean, 'a close friend'?" Katsumi folded his arms, closed his eyes, and said in a manner calculated to irritate, "Word of advice, Miyako. It's hard to pull off the scorned lover act convincingly when you're with another guy. Anyway, I thought it might calm Taka-chan down if I took him out for a drink. Get him out of his car for a while." He opened his eyes again. "What are you doing here?" 

They both looked at Takasaka who was trying his utmost to pretend he was invisible. He certainly looked like he needed calming down. He couldn't believe Katsumi was seriously trying to brazen it out when he'd rather have left discreetly. 

Miyako looked at her new boyfriend for support and found none – it had been a mistake not to tell him about Katsumi. He was giving the two of them strange looks. Under his scrutiny Miyako blushed whilst Katsumi gave him an airheaded grin. Sometimes the ditzy act was really useful. "Miyako, who is he?" He asked. Miyako opened her mouth but before she could speak Katsumi did it for her. "Katsumi Shibuya. I'm Miyako's… well, I suppose I'm Miyako's ex." Then, more to himself than to the other: "Funny how quick these things change, fifteen minutes ago I was her boyfriend…" "Nonetheless." Miyako said crossly. "We can't both stay here, it's socially awkward." "If it bothers you, why don't you go somewhere else?" Katsumi asked reasonably. "I'm quite happy to stay here regardless of where you are." Miyako glared at him – _why couldn't he take a hint? Get lost!_ – and again looked to her boyfriend for support. 

*** 

Five minutes later Katsumi looked at himself in a mirror in the toilets and dabbed at his nose with a damp tissue. There was a bruise forming on one of his cheeks and a cut on his forehead. Takasaka looked at him more than a little anxiously. 

"Is your nose okay?" he asked. "It's not broken," Katsumi replied. "Just a bit sore. Still, it beats me why Miyako would want to hang around with a violent lunatic like that anyway." 

Takasaka refrained from commenting. Miyako's taste didn't appear to be very good anyway. A woman who could lust after Koji whilst attempting to date Katsumi (who was Koji's friend but not a bit like him) then decide that some man who looked like an extra from "The Godfather" and acted the same was a better bet than both just _had_ to have some kind of problem in choosing men. Still, considering Katsumi had dated the girl he must have seen something in her, so it probably wasn't a good idea to discuss her bad points just yet. 

"I should do him for assault," Katsumi turned from the mirror, then leant back on the sinks. "but I don't think I can really be bothered." "Call me paranoid, but I don't think we should go back out there." Takasaka said, motioning toward the door. For once Katsumi decided to err on the side of discretion. "Um. You're probably right. So how do we get out of here then? I don't fancy waiting in here until Miyako decides to leave. I guess we could climb out the toilet window…" "Both of us?" Takasaka felt anxious again, not that he hadn't been feeling anxious before. "Well, why not?" Katsumi grinned. "It sounds like fun." 

"Hey, Taka-chan?" Katsumi stood on the cistern and called to his friend. "Give me a leg up will you?" Takasaka sighed and went to help him. After thirty seconds Katsumi decided he'd had enough. Folding his arms he said "I said help me out the window, not grope me. Pervert." Takasaka sweatdropped again. Why oh why was he dating this boy? He must have been mad to even consider it. "I wasn't…" he began. "Don't worry, I'll do it myself." Katsumi cut him off then pushed the window open to its full extent and climbed out of it head-first. The window shut behind him like a cat-flap. Listening from inside the toilets Takasaka heard a loud thump and learnt a few interesting new swear-words before Katsumi yelled at him from outside. "A word of advice. It's easier not to go head first." "Then what way should I go?" He was honestly confused. "I'll help you down if you've got a problem." From his tone of voice Takasaka could tell he was grinning. He took out his nerve pills and read the label on them. Damn, four hours before he could take another one or he'd run the risk of an overdose… he'd _never_ survive this date. 

Standing in the alleyway, Katsumi watched Takasaka attempt to get out of the window. It was a learning experience. If he hadn't managed to get out of the window properly, Takasaka was even worse at it. "It's not far!" He called, in an attempt at reassurance. Takasaka looked pained. "You can break your neck falling five feet." "I didn't break my neck…" Katsumi said. "So you should be fine." With these reassuring words he turned away and looked out of the alley entrance and utterly ignored Takasaka who made an attempt to jump out of the window and repeated Katsumi's journey of discovery to the alley floor and interesting curse-words. 

"What now?" he asked, as Takasaka straightened up and checked himself for damage. "It's still early and I've got some money left." Katsumi actually had a secret plan to finish the evening in a love hotel somewhere, but decided that Takasaka needed to be a bit drunker. "I'd like to get something to eat, for a start…" "You're hungry already?" "Yup." "I'll go find the car…" "No, don't bother." Katsumi waved the money at him. "let's get a taxi." 

*** 

On second thoughts that didn't appear to be such a great idea. Ten minutes later and they had still failed to get a cab to anywhere. It was a busy night and there were plenty of people who wanted to take taxis. "This is stupid." Takasaka muttered. "It would have taken less time just to get my car." "I thought the whole point of tonight was to get you out of that car." Katsumi replied. "Anyway, I've just had an idea." This sounded very bad indeed to Takasaka and he hoped that there would be no more taxis coming. Unfortunately this really wasn't his night as less than two minutes later one pulled up and a girl in a tight skirt who had also been waiting for a while attempted to get into it. Much to Takasaka's surprise Katsumi smiled at him vacantly and collapsed back onto his chest. The girl looked at them in some bemusement, as did the taxi driver. "What are you doing?" he whispered, blushing. "Everyone's staring." Katsumi opened one eye and grinned. "Tell her I fainted, she'll let us have the cab." Then he slumped back again with a convincing sigh. Takasaka wasn't sure what was more embarrassing, that Katsumi was having an imitation fainting fit in order to commandeer a taxi or that he was expected to carry him. 

*** 

"Ah, the sights and sounds of Tokyo at night by courtesy of a cab…" Despite his comment, Katsumi couldn't actually see much apart from lights. He was lying on his back across the taxi's rear seats with his head in Takasaka's lap, causing the poor man some discomfiture. Takasaka was sure that Katsumi shouldn't have put his feet on the seats but it was essential if they wanted to keep up the pretence that he had fainted. He just wished the boy would stop fidgeting. 

Katsumi pulled Takasaka's tie playfully and twisted it around his fingers, giggling softly. He was enjoying himself, this was what dates were meant to be like even if he'd expected them to be with girls like Miyako not men like Taka-chan, who was ten years older than he for a start, but still completely adorable. Still, whatever. Right now he didn't care what society thought, even if Taka-chan did. He'd just have to persuade him that it didn't matter. After all, if Koji could manage it with Izumi, so could he. 

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	4. Chapter 4

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude, part 4 By Miyuki-Chan 

Standard disclaimers apply. 

Takasaka concentrated on staring out of the window, although it was pretty difficult to do so what with Katsumi pulling on his tie like some kind of demented kitten. He'd spent a lot of the evening in a state of utter embarrassment and had felt so nervous he'd forgotten why he'd agreed to come. 

He'd liked Katsumi for a long time. He was one of the few people who appeared to have time for him-practically no-one else ever seemed to listen. He knew Koji didn't listen to him-Katsumi had more success than he did at getting Koji to see things from his point of view, but even that wasn't much. Koji didn't treat Katsumi very well and took him far too much for granted… so did most people. According to most of Koji's entourage, Katsumi was just there. He had no real job title, he didn't appear to do much except hang around and get underfoot… Katsumi probably was not nearly as cheerful as he liked to make out. Everyone has their own way of hiding… 

He remembered that awkward morning a few weeks ago… how Katsumi had spent the whole morning deliberately avoiding him, looking as depressed and hung over as Koji did after arguing with Izumi and spending a night on the tiles. It had been, as he'd guessed, all to do with the fact that the boy had not been joking when he'd told him he loved him. A misunderstanding, but a painful one. For his part, he'd wanted to believe it had been said in earnest, but hadn't dared to hope, and wished he had reacted differently. Katsumi had tried to laugh it off but it had been painfully obvious that he'd been hurt, which was probably why he'd left early and spent the evening getting drunk. He'd felt too embarrassed to try to explain, in case he'd totally misjudged the situation… 

Just when he'd worked out it wasn't simply a matter of being Katsumi's friend he hadn't known, but he'd been so afraid of making a mess or, worse, of Katsumi giving him a funny look and asking him if he felt alright (Katsumi was, after all, supposedly seeing Miyako) that he hadn't said anything. 

"Are you alright, Taka-chan?" Looking down at Katsumi, he noticed that he was gazing up at him with a vaguely perturbed expression on his face. His hair was a tangled blonde mess, there was a new bruise on one of his cheeks and he looked beautiful. "What's that look for?" Katsumi asked. "What look?" he replied. Katsumi searched for a description and finally said a little lamely "Well, it was kinda… intense. It's probably the angle, but… you look really…well. You know. Peculiar. What were you thinking of?" "Oh. Nothing, really." He looked away. "Is something wrong?" Takasaka looked back. Katsumi was definitely concerned now. "Is it something I've done? Do you want to go home?" "No, I was just thinking of last week." Katsumi gave him a funny look. "You're meant to be here to relax." He pulled on his tie again. "So relax. Stop thinking of work!" he chided good-naturedley. "Now, do you want to go out for a meal or not?" 

*** 

They ate out. It was a good meal, if not an earth-shatteringly great one, accompanied by typically awkward first-date conversation. It had suddenly dawned on Katsumi after a short while that he really knew very little about Takasaka, and about halfway through the conversation Takasaka realised the same thing-despite his open nature Katsumi could be horribly enigmatic. For instance, he seldom if ever talked of himself. He'd known a bit about Katsumi's background, for example-like the fact that he had a little sister, Madoka, once. Dead now-but he hadn't known just how badly it had upset him at the time, and still did. He'd asked Katsumi a few questions about her, which he had answered, but had then gone quiet and looked down, miles away. Takasaka wished he'd never mentioned family and in an attempt to get Katsumi to snap out of it, reached across the table and placed one of his hands on top of one of Katsumi's. _Shock tactics_, he thought, and tried not to giggle because grown men didn't. "Why didn't you tell someone?" he asked. "I've got no-one to tell. Koji knows, Izumi didn't give a damn when I mentioned it, and I don't have any other friends… except for you, of course, and I didn't want to lay all that on you." He looked at Takasaka and smiled, then changed the subject. He didn't like to talk of Madoka, it always upset him. 

*** 

Than night, Katsumi considered where he'd got. The date had been nice, even if they hadn't got much further-he'd felt awkward trying to push it when everything had gone so well (if you excluded the Miyako bit of course). He didn't want to ruin everything by rushing it. He thought he was getting a bit better at kissing, though-_it helped to have practice_, he thought, then blushed even though he was alone and had only thought it. 

God, he'd enjoyed himself, though. For the first time in God knows when he hadn't felt bored, or horribly alone in the world, although this now made his isolation seem all the more pronounced and left him feeling incredibly empty. 

After taking a bath and getting changed into his horribly functional nightwear (he hadn't had any need for anything else for a long time), he went and lay alone in the darkness. The silence was stifling, the air far too hot, even though he had the windows open already (August really stank sometimes). He was, for some reason, hugging one of his pillows tightly to himself-it helped to have something to hold onto sometimes, although he wished he had slightly more than a pillow. He idly wondered what Koji was doing now then forced himself not to think of it. _Poor Izumi_. Instead he wondered where he could go from here-how fast could he move things on? Did he want to? He was an eighteen-year-old male virgin, if he kept this up much longer he'd probably win some kind of award… What next? He said it aloud, then sighed. 

He wished he hadn't talked of Madoka. He suddenly felt terrible-he hadn't felt this bad for months. _Admit it, Katsumi, you've got a serious problem_. It wasn't natural to still fell so upset, so guilty, so long after someone had died. Look at Izumi. Outwardly, he and Izumi couldn't have been much more different, but weren't they both stuck with memories they didn't want? Holding the pillow tightly to himself he stifled a sob. 

And to think everyone had been surprised how quickly he'd got over her dying… 

Katsumi cried himself to sleep. 

*** 

"What Next" was that Katsumi caught flu. 

Four days after the evening he'd spent out, Katsumi woke up in the middle of the night with a mild headache, needing to blow his nose, so he went to the bathroom and got some tissue, then some water from the kitchen. Then he'd gone back to bed. He wondered if perhaps he was running a temperature then forgot all about it and fell asleep again. 

Waking up again slightly earlier than normal, he lay in bed for a while then attempted to get up and wished he hadn't. He felt dizzy and nauseous, and was almost definitely feverish. Siting back down on the edge of the bed, he felt aggrieved and uneasy, and still slightly dizzy so he lay down again on top of the sheets with a sigh. How the hell did a guy manage to get flu in late August? 

There were a number of things he could do now: he could act like Izumi and refuse to admit that he was sick until he collapsed and needed hospitalisation-this did not seem a terribly attractive proposition somehow, partly because he didn't have Izumi's determination to stay upright or any real need to. It wasn't as if he was the only one who could do his job, Taka-chan could do it just as well. He could go to work and then go home sick-again not a good idea feeling the way he was feeling. He could call in and tell them he was sick then go back to bed, which seemed like the best idea. Besides, he was owed a few days off. 

After calling, Katsumi fell asleep again (this time on a chair, he'd taken the blankets off the bed, he needed to be nearer the phone-although who he expected to call was a mystery) and woke up a few hours later, looking an utter mess and feeling oddly childish. He hadn't slept late for ages, not even on days off because he normally spent them chasing after Koji. He hadn't been sick in ages either. 

He wondered what the statistical likelihood of Koji having another falling out with Izumi whilst he was sick was-probably quite high. _Well, he could bloody sort it out himself if he did, it's not my problem_. Koji often told him that his private life was no-one's business but his own. Funny how quick he changed his tune when he needed a hand. 

He was practically asleep again when the phone rang. He picked it up with a curse, said "Hello?" then coughed. "Katsumi, are you alright?" Takasaka-he should have expected that. Not that he minded-he was actually kind of flattered, especially considering they were still well in office hours and that guy was normally hard to separate from his work. No wonder he was always stressed. "I've got flu, Taka-chan." He replied. "In August?" Surprised. "I know, I know. Just don't ask, okay?" Katsumi sighed. "How do you feel?" "I think I'm dying." He regretted the melodrama immediately. "I mean, if you ignore the fact I've got flu I feel okay. Ish." "Sorry, stupid question I suppose." Katsumi smiled "Very stupid question. Of course I don't feel okay, if I did I wouldn't be at home feeling sorry for myself would I? Hey, what's wrong with you, anyway? Making personal phone calls whilst at work? That's not like you." Katsumi could tell he'd embarrassed the man by putting him on the spot like that but it had been hard to resist. "I… wanted to check you were alright. You don't sound that ill…" Katsumi considered this for a moment. "I'm incredibly bored, actually, I've got a headache, can't stand up without feeling like I'm going to faint and there's nothing on the television at this time of day…" he broke off to cough again. Takasaka privately suspected this was not exactly true but he ignored it, Katsumi was clearly aiming for company-either that or sympathy. "Do you want company, then?" he hazarded, feeling more and more awkward and desperately hoping that he would not be overheard. "If you don't mind running the risk of getting flu, then of course." "I've got to go. I'll see you in a few hours, then." Takasaka put the phone down in a hurry-he'd just seen Koji and didn't want to have to answer awkward questions about who he'd been calling. 

Katsumi dropped the phone to the floor then fell asleep again. 

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	5. Chapter 5

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude, part 5 By Miyuki-Chan 

Standard disclaimers apply. 

At about seven thirty in the evening, Katsumi was woken suddenly from a weird dream (about an inflatable coke machine which dispensed inflatable cans of coke) by a clap of thunder. This was irritating-he'd wanted to see how the dream would end. It was raining incredibly heavily-the intolerable heat of the last few days had finally broken, and broken spectacularly in the kind of night which made you feel grateful for being indoors and dry. Gazing vacantly out of the window at the rain in his darkened room, Katsumi sat curled up in one of his chairs in what passed for his pyjamas at this time of year. He'd taken a hint from Izumi in this and wore a shirt and shorts in order to keep cool. The blanket he had dragged off his bed lay disregarded on the floor. 

There was something incredibly relaxing about watching the rain. He didn't want to sleep as he'd only just woken up, but it was making him feel dazed. _Taka-chan should try it,_ he thought, and wondered if he ever had sat and looked at the rain fall. He didn't think he'd have done it recently, he'd been far too busy. Adults didn't do things like that, they left it to teenagers with too much time on their hands and too few friends to spend time with. Once you got beyond the age of about twenty-four you weren't meant to waste time like that. Then again, by twenty-six society expected you to be married with children to take care of, and no time to waste on such trivial matters as enjoying yourself. 

Katsumi wondered why it was Takasaka wasn't married, or at least engaged. He was far too old to still be single-Koji's brother Akihito was pushing it, and he was only twenty-five. It wasn't right that Takasaka had nobody so consequently was prepared to date an eighteen-year old boy (That was another thing people preferred you to do-stick to your own age group). He must have had a girlfriend once. Katsumi had heard of it happen…people would get engaged and expect to marry, but things would happen to cause them to break it off, and then no-one would marry them, cos they'd got too _old._

Katsumi wasn't expecting to marry himself. His little _affaire_ with Takasaka, however brief, would put paid to that idea for good. Madoka, like most girls, had wanted to marry, she'd often spoken of it. She'd been so confident of marrying… _Oh, pull yourself together, Katsumi. Stop thinking about Madoka! She's dead, you're not, cope with it. Move on, for heavens' sake!_ Sometimes he really wanted to slap himself. 

He was interrupted in his thoughts by the doorbell and so he got up to open it, not really caring that he was not looking or feeling his best. 

*** 

Takasaka had gone home prior to visiting Katsumi, and whilst he was there he'd got changed. And so he was, much to Katsumi's amazement, dressed casually. He'd never seen Takasaka wear anything other than suits and shirts (and he'd never so much as taken the jackets off as if it was indecorous to do so) so discovering that the man owned and occasionally wore casual clothing came as a shock. Like Koji had been shocked first time he'd seen Katsumi in a suit. 

Takasaka took one look at Katsumi, who was pale, tired and near-collapse, and practically ordered the boy back to bed, sheer necessity overriding the panic instinct when Katsumi nearly fell over-he was a lot sicker than he had sounded on the phone. Takasaka caught him and helped him stand again. It was the first time he'd put his arms round Katsumi and neither was in the mood to appreciate the moment-Katsumi was dizzy and nauseous and had begun to shiver and Takasaka was very worried about him. He half-carried Katsumi to his bedroom where he placed the dazed boy on the bed then went to fetch the sheet he'd seen on the living-room floor. 

Katsumi looked at Takasaka in a dazed way as the man put the sheet back on top of him. He felt clogged, his head was full of water and when Takasaka looked at him his eyes were exhausted and bright with fever. Takasaka knew he couldn't stay in the flat by himself if he was that ill. "Katsumi" he said. "Mm?" Katsumi turned to look at him. "You can't stay here alone. You need someone to look after you." Katsumi agreed with him on that one. "You volunteering, Taka-chan?" he asked. Takasaka sighed. He couldn't think of anyone else. Koji and Izumi were always too busy playing house and falling out to have time to look after an unwell Katsumi, besides being "looked after" by those two would have probably killed him instead of cured him. They were too busy with their own problems to have any time for those of other people. As far as he knew, Katsumi didn't actually have any other friends… and he knew the boy had fallen out with his parents because he had refused to go to high school-he'd barely seen them since. "Looks like I am." 

*** 

The decision to take Katsumi back to his own flat had been one which was fine in theory and didn't work at all in practice. Takasaka hadn't felt comfortable with the idea of spending all his free time in Katsumi's flat-after all, he didn't know where anything was and it would have felt like an intrusion. It had been an experience trying to get there-it had given him one of his tension headaches. The traffic jam hadn't helped. It had been downright embarrassing to be stuck in a car in the middle of a rainstorm with Katsumi only partly dressed and half-asleep with it. It made him look like some kind of pervert and he could hardly have felt more anxious if he _had_ been. 

The advantage had been that it gave him time to go shopping and buy medicine. The only kind of medicines he had in the flat were plasters, headache pills and various cures for his many stress-related problems, none of which would have done Katsumi any good at all. 

It had taken far longer than it should have to get back, though, and once Takasaka had managed it he almost wished he hadn't. One of his (married) neighbours whom he'd never got on with had met him in the corridors and hadn't been able to resist passing comment on Katsumi, who had at that stage been leaning on Takasaka's shoulder. Something along the lines of "I didn't think you were so desperate." Not a terribly good or original insult but it certainly irritated Takasaka (only trouble was this had shown itself as a blush) and Katsumi had muttered "oh, drop dead," at the man's retreating back. Better than could have been expected considering the circumstances. 

Once they actually got inside, Katsumi looked around him critically. He'd never seen Taka-chan's flat before and it seemed unfair that he had to wait until he was practically dead before he managed it. "Nice flat," he said. It was kind of similar to his own. Over-tidy, not enough furniture, didn't really look lived-in. Basically it was a place Takasaka went in order to eat, sleep, and (if Takasaka was anything like he was) to feel depressed and alone in. 

Takasaka refrained from commenting. "You need to get to bed," he said, and took him into the bedroom where Katsumi sat down on the edge of the bed. A double. He wondered if Takasaka had one-night stands but he managed to stop himself from asking. A rare victory for discretion. "Get into bed, I'll be back in a minute." "Um, where are you going to sleep?" Katsumi asked. He felt slightly guilty about the whole thing. He'd rather have stayed at home, considering the current situation, even if he was utterly useless at looking after himself. "I'll work something out, I suppose." "God, you're so _virtuous_," Katsumi said crossly, leaving Takasaka to wonder if he'd head correctly. 

To be continued. 

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	6. Chapter 6

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude, Part Six By miyuki-chan 

The following day the boy hadn't wanted to wake up despite Takasaka's gentle pestering-he'd got slightly worse overnight and just wanted to sleep-that way he could forget he had a headache and that moving made him dizzy. No, he wasn't hungry. Takasaka had kept up the pestering and eventually managed to get the useful information out of Katsumi that he just wanted to be left alone. 

His exact words had been "I want to die in peace." Takasaka privately felt this was more than a little melodramatic although he hadn't said anything-he suspected that if he had done so Katsumi might have thrown a box of tissues at him in an attempt to get him to go away. Plus it's not terribly tactful to contradict someone who probably did feel like death warmed up. 

Katsumi had thrown the tissues at the door after Takasaka had closed it and had attempted to yell something after him but hadn't managed to get the words out, something which later relieved him greatly as it meant he hadn't said something that he would have regretted. Wondering to himself just what the hell Takasaka was doing in his flat he'd fallen asleep again and had another strange dream-this time, alarmingly, about being Koji-and woken up wondering just what was wrong with his subconscious at the moment. Freud would probably have said it was something to do with sexual frustration or unconscious wish-fulfilment although it was far more likely to be the fever. 

He wasn't sure of much at the moment, but he certainly did not want to be Koji Nanjo. If he had been Koji that would have meant he'd have found that psycho Izumi sexually attractive. Curling up on one side and clasping the pillow-something he often did when he felt lonely or uneasy though it was a poor substitute for an actual _person_ and occasionally only made him feel worse-Katsumi wondered idly just what Koji could possibly see in Izumi. They'd been a couple for almost two years now and he still couldn't figure out what the attraction was, apart from the fact that despite everything Izumi had to say on the matter, they looked fundamentally right together. 

He hadn't dared ask Koji what it was-the man was unpredictable enough and being critical about Izumi tended to get him nowhere except the receiving end of Koji's temper. 

It was then he realised he wasn't actually in his own flat. He didn't remember much of the preceding night's events and had totally forgotten that Takasaka had decided to look after him. It was kinda out of character for the man. How utterly, totally typical of my life-first time Taka-chan had let him in his flat he wasn't well enough to appreciate it or even really notice until the following morning. 

He hugged the pillow and wished it was Takasaka. He certainly couldn't hug him that impulsively without inducing hysteria. 

His thoughts drifted in a familiar direction-one they often took when he was upset or unwell _God, I miss Madoka._ He'd made a mistake with Madoka, he could tell that. He shouldn't have got so close to her-but how could anyone have helped it? She'd been so sweet-she'd been everything to him. There had been times that it had seemed like the doctors had got it radically wrong about her, she'd been so lively. Katsumi smiled sadly to himself. For a while everyone had forgotten she was ill, including Madoka herself. For a couple of years, just after she'd started school, things had almost been normal. It hadn't lasted-there'd been more hospitals, more tests, and no good news at the end of it. She'd be dead by the time she was ten, the doctors had said. She'd lived until thirteen and everyone had been almost glad about it-like it had been some kind of achievement that she'd lived so long! 

Madoka hadn't wanted to die, although she'd accepted the fact in a way he'd never done. He'd carried on living with the insane hope that she'd get better even though it had been painfully obvious-at least it had been to everyone but him-that she couldn't have done. She'd probably been far sicker than she'd seemed for far longer than he'd realised. 

Then again, nothing about his life ever had lasted more than a few years at a time. If there was one thing Katsumi had never had out of life it was stability. Maybe that was why he was attracted to Takasaka-the guy was so predictable. 

Katsumi closed his eyes. _For god's sake get a sense of proportion,_ he chided himself. He'd been thinking about Madoka far too much lately, why? Guilt that he was alive and she wasn't? Whatever, it was stupid, maudlin and had to stop. Instead he wondered what Takasaka was doing, apart from getting horribly stressed, decided it wasn't important, then wondered what time it was. Half eleven. He cursed, threw the pillow at the little clock and missed. Today was really going to drag. 

Looking again at the little alarm clock he noted it was set to some godawful hour-if he had even attempted to get up at that time he'd have been totally wiped out for the rest of the day. It wasn't even as if he did anything in the evenings (when he couldn't persuade some girl to go out with him that was, and his feelings for Takasaka had more or less killed that as a way to spend an evening due to the fact that it wasn't right to mess around when you were in a relationship) but watch appalling TV shows and equally bad films, play patience for hours, read trashy novels or occasionally get drunk but still he went to bed late, invariably overslept and normally arrived at work slightly behind most other people. What it was to work in show business. If he'd known his life was going to be this dull he would have stayed in school. 

In order to add a bit of excitement to his life, Katsumi had a bath. 

*** 

Takasaka was scaring himself. 

He was unable to concentrate on his work, something which had never occurred before. Normally he had no difficulty in sitting and working for hours on end, only realising how much time had passed when Katsumi harassed him over the fact that he hadn't moved all day, eaten anything, or ever left the office before nightfall, which had been happening more and more often of late. Katsumi was fairly tolerant-how else was he still friends with Koji?-but he had a tendency to resent taking second place to a load of paperwork. Who could blame him? Still, for some reason Takasaka just couldn't keep his mind on the job, despite his best efforts to persuade himself that what he really wanted to be doing today was drafting press releases and making anxious phone calls to advertising agencies. 

He kept wondering about Katsumi. Was he alright? He'd seemed very ill this morning. Maybe he should call him a doctor… or would that have been a waste of time? Was there anything doctors could do if someone had caught flu? And could he call his doctor again without the man getting incredibly irritable? Takasaka's relationship with his doctor was horribly strained-but not quite as strained as his relationship with his analyst was getting, which normally meant it was time to look for a new one. And it wasn't as if he didn't pay them enough to deal with his problems. Which reminded him-three weeks ago Katsumi had asked if his analyst charged him danger money before having a wholly inappropriate fit of giggles. 

Catching himself staring vacantly out of the window was a shock. He'd never done that before, he'd always been too busy, though he had occasionally fallen asleep over his desk-and tended to get woken up by Katsumi poking him in the back of the neck with a pencil. Why he did it Takasaka didn't know-maybe he just liked the reaction it invariably got. The boy often stared vacantly out of windows, though, whilst waiting for Koji to have one of the five or six relationship crises a week that Katsumi was then expected to sort out for him. 

Takasaka had often wondered if maybe he resented being Koji's gofer, but somehow had never asked him. It was hard to work out if Katsumi was upset or not – when he had questioned him about his problems he had somehow managed to redirect the conversation before he'd worked out that he was doing it, and by the time he realised that had happened the moment had passed. Takasaka knew the boy was a pretty good actor to be able to pretend everything was alright when it so obviously wasn't, but again he hadn't liked to bring it up with him. He had the irrational feeling that Katsumi would have been offended if he had mentioned that he knew he was lonely. 

Maybe he'd find it easier to concentrate if he could stop thinking about Katsumi for five minutes at a stretch… and more importantly if he could stop wondering if what he was doing with him (or rather what he wanted to do) was entirely legal maybe he'd find it easier to calm down. 

*** 

"I'm home." Takasaka said, something he hadn't felt the need to do since he had left home over a decade ago. He didn't say it terribly loudly in case Katsumi was asleep. Truth was, he felt guilty at leaving the office so early and with so much still to do, but what with Katsumi sick he didn't feel he could afford to stay at work as late as usual. He'd make it up later on. 

In the bedroom Katsumi woke from a light doze at the sound of the door opening. Confused, he looked at the clock, which read 7:43. He'd thought it was a bit too light outside for there to be someone at the door. _I must have dreamt it_. No way would Taka-chan be back from work this early. That would just have been bizarre. And who else had the key to Takasaka's flat save Takasaka? The man was so paranoid about security that he probably only had one set of keys which he didn't let anyone else touch. He was bad enough about his car keys. 

Katsumi stifled a giggle at the thought of Takasaka actually _losing_ something, really irrevocably losing it forever, the way he'd lost a camera, three train passes and a denim jacket. The man had noticed on the one occasion that he'd "borrowed" some documents without asking (okay, so it was wrong. But he'd desperately needed to know just how much his uncle paid Koji) and had been in a state of panic until he gave them back. It had been the same when he'd taken his car keys. It was certainly not the done thing to take Taka's things, but the reaction was so funny he couldn't help himself. He closed his eyes again and wondered how long it would be before he got back to sleep. 

He hadn't heard Takasaka moving around in the living room (having convinced himself that he wasn't in yet) and therefore when the door was opened he sat up abruptly in surprise, letting the sheets fall round his waist. Takasaka gave him a look which he could only describe as "odd" then left the room as suddenly as he had entered. _Was it something I said?_ Katsumi wondered, slightly offended, then realised he'd made a pretty basic mistake. When he'd got out of the bath he'd put a bathrobe on then made his way back to the bedroom, intending to get dressed once he got back into the bedroom. Once there he'd just taken the robe off and gone back to bed. And he'd forgotten all about the need to get dressed again. 

Hiding his face in his hands, Katsumi blushed furiously and laughed. 

*** 

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	7. Chapter 7

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days, Part 7 By miyuki-chan 

After he had got changed, Katsumi sat on the edge of Taka's bed, feeling slightly light-headed, and tried to work out just what the social protocol for his situation was. No doubt about it, he was way too used to living alone where it really didn't matter if you got dressed after taking a bath or not. Obviously Taka would have found his behaviour a little… odd. The man had totally different standards. He didn't leave his flat in a mess in the mornings when he went to work, he was normally fifteen minutes early for meetings and things instead of five minutes late, he dressed discreetly, spoke quietly and had never pestered Koji to tell him about his sex life. 

Why Taka had been so flustered Katsumi didn't know. Their relationship so far may have been almost totally platonic but that didn't mean they were never going to… do anything. So he'd probably have to see Katsumi without his clothes on at some point. That thought made Katsumi blush. God. Why? Okay, so he was one of the most experienced virgins in Tokyo, but that didn't change anything, he'd never actually got much beyond second base with his girlfriends because he normally got bored with them long before that. Okay, so he had problems committing to a relationship. Well, before all this stuff with Taka he'd never really found anyone he wanted to commit to. 

His father would not be happy about Takasaka. Actually, his father would probably try to murder him. He'd attempted to persuade Katsumi into an arranged marriage a couple of years back and he had said an emphatic no way. He still secretly hoped that his son would come round to his way of thinking and settle down with some rich girl (to hell with that, Katsumi had thought. He was eighteen and you were only eighteen once). A kind of modern marriage alliance. That was another of the reasons why Katsumi wasn't actually on speaking terms with his father at the moment. 

If he'd thought the arguments they'd had over high school were bad, it would be nothing compared to what his family would have to say about his sexuality (his grandfather was already throwing a fit over his dress sense which he thought was effeminate). Katsumi had to fight back a fit of giggles over what his uncle would say if he found out about his relationship with Takasaka. He'd probably just view it as a conflict of interests. He wouldn't be impressed but he couldn't afford to worry too much considering what his number one star was getting up to in bed these days… 

_Oh, great. Here I go again. Harping on about Koji's sex life._ It wasn't like he envied Koji. Izumi was a psycho anyway and Katsumi had never really been an advocate of the free love Koji had practised so assiduously since he was what, eleven? Katsumi really didn't know if he believed that Koji had lost his virginity aged eleven to Akihito's girlfriend. It sounded implausible but it was just the kind of lame-ass thing Koji had made his name doing. There was being a flirt and then there was just being a slut. 

Judging that he had given Takasaka long enough to calm down, take some pills, check his blood pressure and call his analyst, Katsumi got off the bed and walked over to the door, pausing to pick the discarded bathrobe up on the way there. He guessed Taka would probably feel happier if he wore it as well. 

*** 

"Are you hungry?" Takasaka asked solicitously a short while later. Katsumi, who was curled up on the sofa, was occupied gazing out of the open window and feeling slightly more like himself-although that was probably due to his doing nothing all day. "What?" he asked. He hadn't been listening terribly closely to what Takasaka was saying. "Do you want anything to eat?" "Oh. No. Not really. I'm not hungry." Katsumi hadn't eaten all day, which could have been one of the reasons for his feeling light-headed, but he didn't want to eat. He had the feeling that eating would make him feel sick again. Not that Katsumi was exactly an expert on illness-at least not in himself. It had almost been as if he was overcompensating for Madoka's sickliness. Despite being worryingly accident-prone for a couple of years, he had barely ever been ill as a child. "Well. If you're sure…" Takasaka retreated into the small kitchen and presently running water could be heard. Here was a man who actually cooked as opposed to heated up boxes or called for take-aways-the sum total of Katsumi's culinary skills (but despite his lamentable lack of cooking ability Katsumi was still at least a hundred times better at it than Koji was. Worryingly). 

Taking advantage of Takasaka's absence to finally get a decent look at the flat, Katsumi came to the conclusion that it was hardly prime real estate but the view was okay. He wondered if he should attempt to pester his uncle into raising the man's salary so he could afford a slightly better flat, although Taka-chan would as like as not have dumped all the excess money into his pension plan or his health insurance or something similar. 

*** 

From the kitchen door, Takasaka surreptitiously watched Katsumi who appeared to be on the verge of falling asleep again. It wasn't often he could manage it what with the fact that Katsumi barely ever seemed to stand still long enough for that. Part of him-a part that he didn't like to acknowledge having-felt quietly exultant. He'd long wanted to ask the boy back to his flat but had never managed to work up the nerve to do so, but Katsumi's flu had given him the perfect excuse. It wasn't like he was going to catch it, after all. It was his flu after all, which he had passed on to Katsumi. The rational part of him told him not to think like that. 

Plus there was the added incentive that Katsumi didn't really know what he was doing most of the time at the moment so he could get away with far more than… _No, no, no!_ A pained expression flitted across Takasaka's features. He had not just thought that. That was NOT why he had decided to look after him. It was because he was sick and probably wouldn't have coped on his own. Not because he was going to use the flu as an excuse to try to get to know him better. 

Still, Takasaka couldn't deny he was lonely. The last person he had managed to have a sort-of semi relationship with was a bored bargirl from Asakusa, who had eventually got fed up with his irregular working hours, his nervousness and habit of taking his job home with him both in the literal and metaphorical sense of the word. That relationship had ended almost two years ago and he hadn't exactly looked hard for another since it ended. Then there'd been Katsumi. Katsumi was sweet, but he was, after all, a boy… a boy he'd known for a long time. 

Four years… no, longer. He hadn't realised it at first, but he'd seen Katsumi around before he really knew who he was. He'd just been "the boss' nephew" at that stage. He'd had conversations with the boy on a couple of occasions. Once he'd helped him look for a stuffed rabbit belonging to his little sister. Madoka, he presumed. The little girl who had died aged thirteen. He hadn't really thought much of the events for a while afterwards and he had been unable to connect the dark-haired child he'd met on those few brief occasions with blonde Katsumi, until a chance comment by Takafumi Yoshiya had led to Katsumi revealing that he dyed his hair… 

Sighing, Takasaka turned and walked back into the kitchen. This was something he'd just have to sort out by himself… 

*** 

That night, Takasaka sat up late in the living room, attempting to do some of the work he had taken home with him in order to assuage his conscience at leaving work so early. He'd thought that what with Katsumi sick, he would be likely to go to bed early, thus giving him three or four hours in which to work at home before he went to bed himself. 

He had, after all, got to sort out a particularly tricky (but not, unfortunately, singular) problem Koji had left the company in by failing to turn up at an advertising photo-shoot a few days prior. Takasaka had finally managed to persuade the company not to sue for time wasted, promising another shoot in a few days' time when the schedule allowed. The company had been very reasonable, but had pointed out that they had a deadline to meet and that they would need the shoot in the next few days. Takasaka had agreed-only trouble was that at the time they had arranged the shoot Koji was supposed to be doing an interview for television, which would mean rescheduling that at the expense of some of the rehearsal time Takafumi had been pushing for. The end result was everyone had gotten angry and he got another tension headache. 

Sighing, he put down the pen he had been toying with in his attempt to draw up a revised schedule, which would somehow satisfy everyone's needs (there just had to be some way to get Koji to stay at work a bit later!) and decided, just like that, to go and check on how Katsumi was. 

He gently opened the door to the bedroom and hesitated whilst his eyes became accustomed to the dimmer light. Once they did he made out the figure of Katsumi, who lay on one side in the bed, the sheets barely covering his pale body. He was crying in his sleep, and it pained Takasaka that he had no way of working out why- and in the morning Katsumi would be unlikely to remember the dream. Seeing him like that, though, made him feel absurdly protective and strangely sad. _Why is he crying? Don't cry. _Takasaka moved over to sit on the edge of the bed, then reached over and brushed Katsumi's tangled hair out of his face, an absurdly intimate gesture and something he would never have felt able to do had the boy been awake-partly through his own inhibitions, partly because Katsumi awake would have wondered what the hell he was doing. 

Katsumi gasped and murmured something softly. "Mother…" 

"Mother?" Takasaka realised he'd spoken aloud. What about Katsumi's mother? He had never heard him mention his mother whilst awake. Then again, despite his talkative nature, he seldom, if ever, spoke about himself, preferring to concentrate on other people's problems. Takasaka remembered Katsumi saying that no one really gave a damn about his problems… 

Well he did give a damn about his problems. What the hell kind of a relationship were they having here if Katsumi didn't even feel able to talk about the things which bothered and upset him? He'd get Katsumi to open up to him if he died in the attempt. 

[Onto part 8][1] [Back to the fics page][2] [Back to the index][3]

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	8. Chapter 8

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days-Interlude, Part 8 By miyukichan 

Why had he thought this was going to be easy? 

Takasaka hadn't felt comfortable with approaching Katsumi about his supposed problems whilst he still had flu (it hadn't seemed fair), but now he wished he had. When he'd tried to talk discreetly about it during a rehearsal, Katsumi had resorted to his normal tactics to avoid talking about himself, namely to change tack incredibly rapidly and start talking about something else. Before Takasaka could confront Katsumi with the fact that he had changed the subject, they had both been startled by Takafumi who had started to lay into Koji for trying to cut out on the session early. Of course, Katsumi had felt duty-bound to join in, to such effect that Koji had suddenly realised he wasn't in such a rush after all. How the pair of them managed to get away with it was a mystery to Takasaka, every time he'd tried a direct approach he'd ended up flustered and anxious. 

He'd found it hard to break the subject with Katsumi later on. He'd seemed in such a good mood, it was a shame to spoil it. Besides, Katsumi was in a rush. He had, a few weeks ago, accepted an invitation to go and eat at Koji's and although he didn't really want to do it considering he was just getting over the flu and didn't want food poisoning as an encore, he felt compelled to honour the commitment. 

Takasaka had come across Katsumi sitting on a sofa with his bag on his knees, pulling things out of it like a demented conjurer. Takasaka was always surprised by how much rubbish that boy seemed to carry around with him as a matter of course, most of which he had a good reason for owning. Nonetheless, he appeared monumentally disorganised at times, a fact which Katsumi had long since learnt to blame on his blood type. After a few moments, however, he had straightened up with a triumphant grin. "What were you looking for?" Takasaka asked, curiously. "This." Katsumi held up a small bottle. Noting Takasaka's blank expression, he explained. "Milk of Magnesia. Thought I'd go prepared, since Koji's doing the cooking. Last time I ate round there was not a pleasant experience. I'd buy him a cookbook but they're all way too advanced for Koji's level of ability. No way am I going to be the one responsible for the Koji Nanjo version of coq au vin." 

Takasaka knew better to comment on that. He had been forced to endure Koji's cookery on a couple of occasions and had heard a third-hand account of the infamous Porridge Incident which had led to Koji getting his hair cut for the first time in years (admittedly, it had probably been embellished a bit as he'd heard it from Katsumi, but the basic facts were correct). He _had_ bought Koji a cookbook once and it had led to a meal that Katsumi, who was never normally at a loss for words, could only describe as "conceptual" before hurriedly changing the subject to something slightly more appealing. God help Izumi or anyone else in the vicinity when Koji took it into his head that he was going to be a cook today. 

He looked anxiously at the boy. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, going to eat at Koji's?" "No, I know it's a stupid idea, but I've run out of excuses. I tried saying I had netball practice but Koji didn't believe me," Katsumi replied, then looked at his watch. "Ah, rats. Already? I'd better be going. Pray for me." He smiled, stood up and walked to the door. "Katsumi?" Mildly startled, he turned to face Takasaka. "Yes?" "Are you happy?" Takasaka asked, privately wondering where the question had come from. "Am I _happy_?" 

The question appeared to have caught Katsumi completely off-guard. If anyone else had asked him, he'd probably have said "do I look unhappy?" but it didn't seem right with Takasaka. He respected him too much to tell him such a blatant lie. 

"Why do you ask?" he said. "If you're worried, there's no need to be. I'm alright." _Some of the time,_ he added to himself. _Admit it, Katsumi, you're far from 'alright'. You're utterly screwed up. You think it's healthy to be so obsessed with someone who died so long ago?_

He told himself to shut up and concentrated instead on the complicated series of evasions that the question required. 

*** 

It was late September, a few days off his nineteenth birthday and raining lightly the day Katsumi decided he'd had enough of the office and that he was owed a day off. Everyone knew flu didn't count. 

Katsumi had given his flu to Koji. This meant Koji was lounging around in bed and attempting to pester Izumi into joining him. Izumi would probably let him, because he was sick and for some reason Izumi felt sorry for Koji when he was sick. Katsumi privately thought that Koji sick was even harder to get on with than Koji well and tended to avoid him when he was under the weather. Normally because it meant the man indulged in self-pity to a quite disgusting degree and became incredibly demanding on the time and sympathy of anyone stupid enough to go near him-Katsumi had experienced it a couple of times before and had been dragooned into acting as a kind of nurse. He had no wish to do so again. He'd sent Koji a get well card, but aside from that he was on his own and good luck to him (_or rather good luck to Izumi,_ Katsumi thought to himself). 

So there was nothing for Katsumi to do in the office, so why bother hanging around? Taka would not have been happy if he'd done what he normally did when he had nothing in particular to do, which was to find a secretary or some other bored female to flirt with. He'd done it a couple of days ago and practically began laughing on the spot when he saw Takasaka's expression. He knew it was mean, but he'd gone right ahead and teased him about being jealous next time they were alone just to see what happened next, which was nothing he couldn't have guessed anyway but was still very funny. Yeah, his sense of humour was inappropriate, but so what? 

He'd taken the day off-it wasn't like he had loads of free time so why not? The flu hadn't counted anyway- and had decided to go shopping. He needed new clothes anyway, and it was coming up to winter. Not that he was going to buy winter clothes, more like just get what he wanted to and to hell with the weather. Koji thought Katsumi was an idiot for wearing clothes that didn't suit the weather, although he didn't complain about Izumi wearing shorts in mid-December, did he? He just stared. Sometimes Koji was even more predictable than Takasaka. So he could just cope with Katsumi doing the same. 

On the subject of Takasaka, what had he meant by asking him if he was happy? Katsumi often wondered that himself, but to hear someone else saying it had thrown him completely. 

Katsumi decided not to worry about it. It was his day off and he wanted some retail therapy and to avoid thinking too hard for a few hours. Besides, he'd seen a really cute top he wanted to buy. Sure, it was a girl's top, but who'd know if he cut the label out? Who'd know anyway? It wasn't like he was in the habit of swapping clothing tips with anyone he knew… oh, except for Takafumi of course, and he'd probably think it was a good idea… and he occasionally discussed clothes with Koji… as in "_How_ much did you say that jacket cost again? That could pay my rent for a _month_, Koji!" The exaggeration was only slight. 

Then again, the most famously extravagant of Koji's shopping trips could easily have paid Katsumi's bills for a whole quarter. 

_It's not as if I ever take my clothes off in front of anyone either,_ he thought ruefully. If this went on much longer he'd probably have to resort to decidedly Kojiesque tactics to get Taka into bed. Of course it would help if he could even think of the idea without either blushing or spacing out totally. He'd only realised he was spacing out at all the other day when he noticed everyone was staring at him after he'd been silent for fully five minutes. 

Standing in a shop and hardly caring about the funny looks he was getting from a couple of schoolgirls (it wasn't like he'd ever meet them again anyway, so why bother worrying what they think, nor was it like either was really his type so no need to bother trying to flirt with them), Katsumi held a top up in front of himself. 

_Koji would probably throw a fit if he knew I was buying girls' clothes… I hope Serika Izumi doesn't buy something identical or I'll never hear the end of it._

On thinking that, Katsumi relaxed somewhat. Serika Izumi's dress sense was a thing of wonder to him. Some of the things she wore were just absurd. Madoka would never have dressed like that, he felt sure of it. He sometimes caught himself wondering just what her parents must be thinking to let her wear skirts that short… wasn't it a danger on windy days? Or was that a totally flaky thing to think about a girl in a mini-skirt? Very probably. Maybe it was just because Serika was so like a little sister to him that he found it hard to focus on her as any kind of sex object. He knew he'd catch it off someone if he showed that much leg outside of his own home… if only a disapproving look from Koji or Taka-chan. He didn't like it when Koji went on about his clothing, but when Taka-Chan disapproved, it was kind of cute. 

He looked at the top again. He wasn't quite sure if blue-eyed blondes could wear purple, although he'd done it before. Ah, what the hell, it was a nice top, he liked it, and most of the people he knew had stopped even commenting on his fashion sense, so why not? Three guesses, no prizes, as to who the exception to that rule was. 

*** 

Later that evening Katsumi lay on his back on his bed, the shopping bags lying in a discarded mess on the floor. Had he really bought a light blue t-shirt with Hello Kitty on it? He couldn't recall doing it but somehow he'd ended up with one, so presumably he had. Geez. Why was it that whenever he went shopping, no matter what his best intentions were, he always ended up with such weird stuff? What was with the necklace with feathers on? Presumably he'd liked it at the time… he still did like it, but could he recall actually deciding to buy it? Could he hell. 

This was why Katsumi didn't go shopping that often. He'd have to be very careful with money for the next few weeks. Maybe he should start angling for another dinner invitation from Koji. All things considered, the meal Koji had given him a few days ago hadn't tasted too bad. He suspected Izumi of having helped with the cooking. 

Or maybe he should try to get Taka to ask him to go eat round his. It could be kind of pleasant for both of them. He suspected that Taka's evenings were just as boring as his were (Katsumi had a very vague memory of the man saying as much to him whilst he was getting over the flu). Maybe. 

Wouldn't it be a bit forward to just ask if he could go over (not to mention more than a little impolite)? Maybe he should ask Taka round here. It might hurt his bank balance a bit-well, you couldn't ask someone over for a meal then give them frozen pizza, could you? Especially not when it was someone you were trying to impress-but if it actually got their so-far platonic relationship to develop into something a bit more… well, something a bit more _interesting_, wouldn't it be well worth the expense? 

[Onto part 9][1] [Back to the fics page][2] [Back to the index][3]

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	9. Chapter 9

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days, Part 9 By miyuki-chan 

Takasaka suspected that Katsumi's sudden decision to ask him round for dinner was due to boredom. He knew that Katsumi was no cook (he was better than Koji, but who wasn't?) so the only reason for the invitation had to be that he wanted something. Takasaka had a fairly good idea what it was and the thought embarrassed him. He knew that Katsumi… well, he knew the boy loved him, but… 

He didn't quite know why it was the invitation worried him so much. It was certainly a very nice idea, yet Katsumi's motives troubled him. What if he decided that what was going on now wasn't what he wanted after all? That would have been worse, a lot worse, than if they had never even started on this so-called relationship. 

It was the 'so-called' which had led him to accept the offer. Katsumi wasn't happy with 'so-called', and when it came down to it nor was he. Maybe it was wrong to play things so safe. Katsumi was how old now? He wasn't a child anymore, that was for sure, so why was it hard to see him as anything but? But nonetheless, Katsumi was well able to know his own mind. Well able to make decisions regarding his love life. If he said he wanted something, Takasaka had to assume that he knew in a reasoned, adult way exactly what that implied, but that didn't mean he was necessarily the best person to talk to about relationships. For all that he acted as a counsellor to Koji and Izumi when they had their numerous crises, he'd never actually had a proper relationship himself. And he was nineteen next month. Besides, Takasaka's own track record in terms of relationships was hardly fantastic. It seemed highly unlikely to him that two people who were so unlucky in love should be able to make a relationship work. 

Katsumi was, after all, old enough to know better than this, but probably young enough not to care all that much. 

"So. What about it?" 

Katsumi interrupted his thoughts. He'd walked into the office without bothering to knock, as usual, and had chosen to announce his presence in the room by leaning on the back of Takasaka's chair and looking over his shoulder. Mildly off-putting to say the least. Takasaka looked round, startled, and knocked a few papers to the floor. For someone who normally went out of his way to make an entrance, Katsumi could be very quiet when the mood took him. 

"I wish you'd knock," he said, mildly irritated but not minding the interruption all that much. "Ah, come on. Surprises are good for the soul." Katsumi replied cheerfully, stooping to pick up the fallen papers, taking the opportunity to look at them as he did so. "What are you doing? It looks pretty boring." Takasaka looked down at the papers that remained on the desk. "Nothing too important." _And,_ he added to himself, _it's even duller than it looks._

Koji's flu, for all that it meant that the potential for fresh scandals to deal with for the time was highly limited, naturally meant a lot of rescheduling, most of which had fallen to Takasaka. Katsumi, by contrast, had very little to do when there was no Koji to chase after. He had spent most of his morning reading through Koji's fan mail for entertainment purposes, placing personal phone calls to people he'd been at middle school with and talking to Takafumi about nothing in particular in between his various attempts to convince Takasaka to let him help with the paperwork (a sweet thing for him to want to do, even if Takasaka wasn't sure he trusted Katsumi considering the speed with which he could lose things). 

"Then it can wait for half an hour or so, if it's not so important." Katsumi said, and he tugged determinedly at one of Takasaka's hands. "Come on. Get up." "What are you doing?" "Forcing you to relax. Come on. You need to get out more. I swear you'll put down roots if you stay in that chair much longer." "It's raining." "And? It's only a shower and I like walking in the rain. You have an umbrella, don't you, and I don't mind getting a bit wet. It won't hurt you to spend a few minutes out. Everyone else takes lunch breaks, I'm going to show you what you're missing." 

_One of the big problems with Katsumi is that he doesn't take 'no' for an answer,_ Takasaka reflected, as the blonde half-dragged him out of his office. 

*** 

Drinking at lunchtime was not something Takasaka normally did. He didn't have a very high tolerance to alcohol, and he hoped that he'd be able to get through the afternoon without falling asleep. Katsumi didn't seem to care about such things. Firstly, he didn't get drunk quite so easily and secondly there was nothing special he needed to do after lunch so who cared if he was a bit drunk? Of course, his uncle probably didn't see things in quite the same way. 

"So, you got any special dietary needs or anything?" Katsumi asked after a small pause. Despite the silence, neither had felt uncomfortable. Katsumi enjoyed it. It was unusual that he actually felt comfortable remaining silent in anyone else's presence. "You don't mind if I keep things simple? I don't trust myself making anything big." Takasaka looked up, mildly startled. He'd been thinking. "What? Oh, no. Not really." "That's okay then." Katsumi replied, then fell silent again. Great, now he couldn't think of anything to talk about. _Not like me,_ he thought. 

He needn't have worried. Takasaka had a question of his own to ask. "Katsumi, a few days ago I asked if you were happy, and…" He tailed off. He didn't feel comfortable being so direct. "…and I didn't tell you." Katsumi finished his sentence for him, his eyes averted. He'd known he'd have to answer the question at some point. "And you wondered why I didn't. It's because I don't know, Taka-chan." "You don't know what?" "If I'm happy." Katsumi still wasn't looking up. "It's hard to tell. At times I think I'm happy, but other times… normally when I'm by myself… I feel terrible." Takasaka frowned. "Then why pretend you are?" "I guess it makes it easier to cope." He sighed. "Or maybe because I'm scared of what would happen if I stopped. I know it sounds stupid. To tell the truth, I can't even remember when I started it. Sometimes I kinda wish I hadn't bothered, it's tiring." He paused for a few seconds before speaking again. "But it's not always pretend, you know. Maybe it's just criminally easy to make me happy. I dunno, it confuses the hell out of me, too." 

After another silence - rather strained this time - Katsumi startled Takasaka by turning his own question round. "What about you? Are you happy?" He wondered perhaps if that was pushing it a bit. Taka wasn't comfortable talking about himself. "…why do you ask?" Takasaka said, once he'd got over his surprise. "Because. I barely know anything about you apart from your name, age and blood type. Tell me something I don't know." 

Takasaka hesitated before beginning. "There's not much to tell. It's all pretty normal. Pretty dull." He smiled, mildly embarrassed in the face of Katsumi's sudden curiosity. "You should do that more often." "What?" "Smile." Katsumi appeared to be on the verge of laughing. _It really doesn't take much to make him smile,_ Takasaka thought. If the boy wasn't happy, he was at least content, and Takasaka liked that. "Do you want me to carry on?" he asked. "Go on." "If you're sure you want to hear. My life's been quite boring. Well, it was quite boring." Katsumi did laugh then. "You're cute, Taka-chan. And I can wait all day to hear this if I have to. I'm more patient than I look." Takasaka couldn't help but wonder about that. Katsumi had many good points, but patience had never struck him as one of them. On an impulse he said as much out loud, causing his companion to fall silent for a moment before blushing and suppressing another giggle. "Stung. Oh, and when you say your life 'was quite boring', do you mean that you'd rather it was dull? And are you referring to me or to Koji here? I don't know if I should be insulted or not." "It was quite dull until I left school." He hesitated, not feeling entirely comfortable talking of his childhood to Katsumi. It had been totally ordinary - if you denied the existence of his father's mistress, which Takasaka couldn't. He'd first found out about her when he was ten, although his mother had tried very hard to keep it from him, to keep up appearances at all times. "Well, it was until I met Koji." Katsumi nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Koji tends to make things very complex very quickly. I'm glad he's got the flu right now. It keeps him out of trouble, although I feel sorry for Izumi. " Looking up, Katsumi caught Takasaka looking at his watch. "Oi. Do I have to keep reminding you that we're here to relax? Stop looking at your damn watch." 

*** 

"Koji still not in?" Katsumi asked Takasaka a few days later, regardless of the fact that the man was busy (Time, tide and Katsumi Shibuya wait for no man). Takasaka turned round and raised his eyebrows at what the boy was wearing, before replying that no, he wasn't. "Right." Katsumi said. "I think he's had quite enough time off sick, don't you?" "But you had this flu as well." Takasaka said. "Don't you think…" Katsumi, who had already walked to another desk and picked up the telephone, yelled, "Yeah, and I didn't take almost two weeks off work! He's bunking off, Taka. Anyway, I saw him watching Izumi play football yesterday. He's no sicker than I am!" 

Muttering darkly to himself about the opportunistic bastard he'd got as a best friend, Katsumi sat on the edge of the desk he was at and waited for Koji to answer the phone. After waiting for the best part of three minutes (Katsumi had learnt by long experience that the only way to make sure Koji actually got up to answer the phone was to be incredibly patient), he yelled "Why aren't you at work?" into the phone, then bit his thumb in an attempt to stop himself from laughing. A few feet away, Takafumi and Keisuke broke off their own conversation in order to better listen in to Katsumi's. 

Katsumi listened with very little patience to Koji's claims about still being sick, then asked "If you're so sick, how the hell did you manage to drag yourself off your deathbed to go and watch one of Izumi's football practices yesterday afternoon? If you're well enough to watch Izumi play, you're well enough to come to work. Don't tell me you had a relapse." Koji muttered some unconvincing explanation about "having a headache". "Yeah, it's called a 'hangover', Koji. Are you going to get your lazy butt out of bed by yourself or do I have to come over and do it for you?" "Go to hell, Shibuya." Koji said crossly. "You're definitely feeling better if you can be bothered to insult me. One last thing, Koji. If you're not at work by eleven I'm coming round to get you, even if I do have to drag you out of bed and take you to work in your pyjamas. Yes, that _is_ a threat. Bye." He put the phone down before Koji could reply, and jumped off the edge of the desk. He couldn't help but notice the funny look Keisuke was giving him. "I didn't know Koji wore pyjamas." Keisuke said. "He doesn't, or at least he didn't last time I looked." Katsumi replied, then turned his attention to Takafumi. "When Koji finally deigns to honour us with his presence, do you want to lay into him first or shall I?" 

At quarter past eleven, Koji finally showed up. In spite of the furious expression, he looked quite healthy and Katsumi laughed on seeing him. "Told you didn't I, Taka-chan? There's nothing wrong with him, apart from his temper!" Takasaka had to agree. He wondered if he was glad at Koji being back at work or if it was more a curse than a blessing. No doubt there would be another scandal to sort out in a week or two. He'd actually rather enjoyed the unusual ease of his job over the last few weeks. 

Koji's mind was on other things by this point, however. "God, Shibuya. What the hell happened to you? Did your dress sense finally die or something? What the hell do you think you're wearing?" Katsumi pretended anger. "You're just jealous. I like my clothing. Yoshiya wanted to know where I bought the shirt, so there." 

Koji looked at Katsumi again in incredulity. He wore the blue 'Hello Kitty' t-shirt he had brought last week, a necklace of coloured wooden beads that had once belonged to Madoka, a pair of tan shorts (it was early October, but Katsumi didn't bother all that much about weather conditions and just wore what he wanted to) and a pair of loosely-laced boots. The sole concession to the slightly less than clement weather was his jacket, even though he did have the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

"I shouldn't be surprised, should I?" Koji said to no-one in particular. He really did not understand that Hello Kitty top. Katsumi again attempted to look cross (when he wasn't angry, he really could not pretend anger with any conviction). "Hey, at least I don't spend the best part of a month's salary on buying a jacket for eight hundred thousand yen." 

"It's not most of my month's salary." Koji pointed out. 

"Yeah, well we all know how much you get paid. It's a wonder that uncle hasn't gone bankrupt having to pay your salary every month." Katsumi illustrated this last comment by pointing at Koji, forcing Koji to realise that Katsumi had painted his nails petroleum blue. 

*** 

Since Katsumi's illness, Takasaka had got into the habit of leaving work a little earlier and taking some papers with him, unless of course he was dealing with something that absolutely had to be finished before he went home, or he needed to have access to the firm's computers or something. It was far nicer to work at home than to stay in the office, especially considering what an awful night it was turning out to be: outside it was raining heavily. For early October the weather was quite appalling. 

It was about ten o'clock when he heard someone knock on his door. This was unusual-he wasn't the kind of person who had visitors and didn't think anyone from work knew his address. After a few moments in which he'd hoped whoever it was would go away, he sighed, got up and opened the door. 

"Katsumi? What are you doing here?" Takasaka couldn't help but feel surprised, though logically he should have expected it-who else would remember where he lived? "My car's broken down." Katsumi said apologetically. "Well, it won't start, so I left it at work." Thinking back, he suspected this might have been because he had run out of petrol. It had happened more than once before. "And the office was locked and I didn't have any money to get home on the trains. Well, I left my bank card at home and spent most of the change at lunch… sorry, Taka-chan." Takasaka knew that he didn't live all that close to the office, but he also knew that Katsumi lived further out than he did. "Did you walk here?" he asked. "Well…" Katsumi began. He looked like he'd fallen in a canal, so the answer was obvious. "Most of the way." Takasaka looked up and down the hallway to check that the married neighbour he detested was nowhere in sight, then turned back to Katsumi. "You'd better come in. You're cold." 

In the living-room, Takasaka tried to work out what to do with Katsumi's jacket whilst Katsumi himself rubbed one arm in an attempt to get some warmth back into it, looking rather distracted. As he usually did when Katsumi had his mind on other things, Takasaka took the opportunity it afforded him to look more closely at the boy. He was very wet; his hair was stuck to his cheeks and his clothing was clinging to his body in a way that made Takasaka feel decidedly uncomfortable. It was painfully obvious that Katsumi needed to take a bath and get changed but how on Earth was Takasaka meant to mention this to him without getting embarrassed? 

He didn't have to bother. Katsumi, looking just as embarrassed as Takasaka felt (he was blushing, Takasaka noticed with mild surprise) asked him if he could borrow some clothing. After that, it was fairly easy to ask him if he wanted to take a bath. After all, it wasn't like Katsumi hadn't done it before… 

And somehow, after that, it became quite easy to ask him if he wanted to stay overnight. It was too late for him to go home, his clothing was wet-Katsumi was, at present, sat on the sofa wearing a yukata, examining his varnished nails and complaining half-heartedly ('I look like a girl in this stupid thing')-somehow, instead of seeming inappropriate and embarrassing, it just seemed like the next thing to do and only logical. 

Takasaka hoped Katsumi could see the logic in it, but again he needn't have worried. 

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	10. Chapter 10

Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze   
Strange Days, Part 2 - Interlude By miyukichan 

Takasaka had known he wouldn't get much more done that evening what with Katsumi's presence, so he had made the informed decision to set his alarm for even earlier than was his habit so he could get some more paperwork finished before he had to go into work that morning. If he was quiet (and he normally was) he wouldn't have to worry about disturbing Katsumi. He wasn't all that surprised, therefore, when he was woken by the alarm at the crack of dawn. What he wasn't expecting was what happened next. 

"It's too early." 

Katsumi hated alarm clocks with a passion. He had broken five since the beginning of the year and hadn't yet got round to buying a replacement for the fifth, which currently lay in pieces on one of the work surfaces in his kitchen. After being woken up with a hangover once too often, he had taken it to bits with a screwdriver. He'd thrown the last one out of the window so to his mind the ex-clock had gotten off lightly. 

Maybe he should put this one through the washing machine and see what happened, he thought idly to himself, then wondered how long it would take before he got back to sleep. 

"Katsumi." "Go away," he muttered. "I'm dead." 

Now Takasaka remembered why it was he hadn't thought the clock would wake Katsumi. He hadn't expected Katsumi to be in his bed. 

"Katsumi, why are you in my bed?" he asked. There were plenty of other questions he wanted to ask but this struck him as by far the most important. "I'm asleep, or at least I was." Katsumi muttered. "Go away. I'm tired." Takasaka tried again. "Katsumi." "Taka, I am trying to…" Katsumi fell silent for a good ten seconds, then frowned and opened his eyes. "Oh. Ah." He blushed slightly. 

'Ah' indeed. That seemed about right to Takasaka. Katsumi, meanwhile, belatedly remembered to wonder if he was wearing anything. On inspection 'anything' turned out to be the top half of a pair of pyjamas. He didn't really feel comfortable asking Takasaka the same question. The one question that _he_ really wanted to ask: 'what the hell did we _do_ last night?' seemed pretty redundant given the circumstances. 

"…and I wasn't even _drunk_," he said, a sentiment Takasaka found himself agreeing wholeheartedly with. If they had been drunk, then maybe they'd have been able to laugh this rather awkward incident off, but… 

This definitely came under the classification of 'an embarrassing situation'. 

Katsumi, meanwhile, had closed his eyes again and turned away, in an attempt to hide the fact that he was blushing. He didn't like being seen blushing. His recollections of the incidents of last night were a lot clearer than they would have been in an ideal world. He remembered it all and _that_ was embarrassing. He hadn't been drunk. He'd been upset (over what he was no longer quite sure), but no more so than he normally got when he was by himself and thinking too much. Okay, so maybe he'd been mildly drunk and more than a little depressed-he had the horrible feeling that Takasaka had somehow managed to get him talking about his mother, or Madoka, or both-but that didn't explain away all… all this. 

This… Katsumi didn't have a clue how it had happened, but it had. This was not the way he'd expected to lose his virginity. Well, he'd expected it to be with a woman for a start. Not with a man who, for all his good sides, was still Takasaka and just over ten years older than he was. Ten years. To Katsumi's mind that was a pretty big age gap. 

Katsumi couldn't help but remember the way he'd tried to warn Koji off his relationships with Minamimoto (an older woman, but not all that much older than Koji was when you sat down and thought about it) and Izumi (a man). If Koji got a hold of this, he'd never hear the end of it. Sleeping with an older man, and Takasaka at that… great, Katsumi, just great. For instant social death, just add rain water. 

What was worse, he couldn't escape the feeling that he'd managed to totally wreck his relationship with Taka. 

Bad move. Very, very bad move. It wasn't worth it for one night, and Katsumi knew it as he lay on his front in Takasaka's bed and stared at the wall, trying to work out what the hell to do next. This was worse than the first time. A far bigger mistake than the 'mistake' he'd made to get Taka to notice him in the first place. Not that he could call the first thing a mistake really… however, he didn't think he could say the same about this incident. It was a mistake. Taka couldn't have… 

And the guy was too damn calm. This was Takasaka. He flipped out over every little thing that went wrong. This was not a little thing and he was too calm. He was embarrassed, he had to be... but it wasn't even _showing_! A bad sign. Takasaka only got like this when things were _really_ bad. 

After getting dressed in yesterday's clothes, Katsumi, still acutely aware of the sheer _wrongness_ of his situation, sat in Takasaka's living room, still unsure of what he should do next. He really should go home and get changed (Koji and the others would think it odd if he showed up at work in the same clothes for two days running), but he was tired. Too tired to want to walk the God only knew how many miles back to his flat, not to mention flat broke. He wasn't even sure he knew how to get there from here. 

Plus, Katsumi wasn't entirely happy at the idea of… well, walking out on Taka, for wont of a better word. They had to try and get this situation sorted out somehow, if only to work out how on Earth they would manage to act like it hadn't happened when they finally made it in to work. Normally Katsumi's preferred approach would be to brazen it out, but Taka, he knew, would not see things in quite the same way. He wasn't sure he saw this in quite the same way either. 

And how was he going to manage to get changed before he got to work? There was no way he'd wear the same clothes two days in a row. That would be a dead giveaway. _I suppose I could always wear that yukata,_ he thought, then fought down a giggle. It would almost-almost-be worth going into work in the stupid thing just to see what the band had to say. Koji's reaction would probably have been… interesting. Katsumi just didn't 'do' traditional. He had looked like a girl in it, whatever Taka might have said. And it was hardly as if he'd tried to negate that image by acting more masculine. Geez. 

He looked up upon hearing the door opening, made eye-contact with Taka for the first time that day, and blushed awkwardly, Takasaka's expression practically mirroring his own. This whole thing was just too embarrassing, and if it was this bad in _private_… just imagine what it was going to be like at work. 

It looked like it was going to be one of those days. 

*** 

Katsumi had no idea how he'd managed it given that he'd barely spoken to Takasaka all morning, but he'd somehow managed to convince the man to let him borrow some clothing. It seemed that he had independently come to the same conclusion Katsumi had about his clothing – that he would never show up to work in the same clothes for two days running – and that he'd decided that the need to maintain the semblance of normality was paramount. The most mystifying thing about it was, despite the fact that they were his clothes, they looked totally different on Katsumi, and probably suited him slightly more. 

Takafumi had been talking to Katsumi for the last five minutes, trying to find out if he had any idea of where Koji was, but he gave no sign that he had heard a word of it. After another few minutes had passed Kimie threw a notebook at him. 

"What was that for?" "Yoshiya-san just asked you a question. Did you hear it?" Kimie asked ingenuously. "Oh, sorry." Katsumi said vaguely, then lapsed back into uncommunicative silence. Takafumi sighed. "Forget it, Mori, he's not listening." "He have a bad night or something? Girlfriend trouble or Koji trouble or what?" "Who knows?" Takafumi sighed again and shrugged. "Maybe it'd be better if I just left him alone." "Well, if he's not talking you could go keep Gunji company, he's lookin' lonely." Kimie said. "Oh, and if Koji's not here within the next six and a half minutes you owe me a coke, by the way." 

Katsumi had his mind on other things than Koji. Takasaka, for one. He hadn't been acting at all unusually by arriving in the office a bit too early and practically tying himself to his desk: nobody would have commented on it, unlike Katsumi's own vacant expression and his staring out of the window for twenty minutes whilst pretending to read a photocopied document on the subject of how to deal with Koji's fan mail, which technically speaking Katsumi didn't have to go anywhere near unless he wanted to. He had a horrible feeling that tonight he'd probably be going home and getting drunk, the way he'd done in July after the incident which had made it possible for him to be in this stupid mess in the first place. 

It was a horrible day again, and Koji was probably still in bed. Katsumi wished he was too. 

*** 

It was with an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu that he made his way to a small office at midday with the intention of avoiding anyone who might want him to be sociable on his lunch break. _Well, I've been here before_. He'd been in much the same mood last time, but this time he wasn't expecting anyone to come and lift it. The only person who could do that was Takasaka and he was barricaded in his office attempting to sort out another advertising deal with some cosmetics company whose name Katsumi could never remember and if the deal didn't fall through they would probably end up having to drag Koji to the shoot, possibly in the company of a bored and hostile Izumi. 

Katsumi fiddled with the necklace he was still wearing from yesterday, a repetitive action which helped to blank out his mind. He'd been here before. Last time he'd been angry and upset, this time he just felt regretful that he'd managed to mess up such a good thing, wondering how it was he could sort out Koji's love life but couldn't manage his own. He certainly couldn't expect Koji to come sort this out, it wasn't that kind of friendship. Stupid. 

It was dark in the office and Katsumi liked it. The only artificial light in the room came from the small glowing lights on the casing of the PC whose desk he was currently sharing, sitting next to it on top of the table, one foot resting on the strangely uncomfortable swivel chair, looking out of the window. The office hadn't been used in months – there was less chance of being disturbed. He just hoped nobody had seen him go in. 

Last night… last night he had slept with Takasaka. In both senses of the word. He hadn't been any more than mildly drunk. He hadn't been depressed. Hadn't been blatantly propositioned. At some point during the evening he'd made the conscious decision to… well, to try to seduce Takasaka, and he'd managed it. That was why he now felt so uncomfortable, he suspected. 

Katsumi may have wanted to, but he wasn't sure it was what Takasaka had wanted. Maybe Taka had thought they'd rushed it, maybe he hadn't wanted to and only gone along with it so that he wouldn't feel he had been rejected. Taka was so… considerate at times, you could never tell what he was doing because he'd wanted to and what he was doing because he felt he had to. If last night had just been obligation for him, Katsumi didn't want to have any part in it any more: it wasn't right to force anything on him. He respected Takasaka too much for that. Katsumi had no intention of becoming a slightly more passive version of Koji. 

Hard though it was for him to realise it, if all this relationship was to Takasaka was an obligation, something he'd only agreed to in order to spare Katsumi's feelings, then it had to end. Just thinking about it was hard enough for him, to actually do it would be near-impossible, but there was no way he wanted to force anything on Takasaka. 

Last night, Katsumi knew, had changed almost everything about their relationship completely, and only time would tell if it had been for the good or not. Why had Koji never warned him that sex would make things so _complicated_? 

*** 

"I mean, what the hell is _with_ that guy today?" 

Kimie was in a bit of a funny mood himself, but that wasn't really that important to Takasaka. He could tell who it was they were talking about and he felt slightly ashamed. _Is this my fault?_ Katsumi had been uncommunicative all day (unusual for him), barely speaking unless someone spoke to him first. There was a precedent for this, but Katsumi had only ever been that silent once before, and that was to Koji. Then it had been because he was angry, but now he seemed strangely reserved and slightly sad. 

Takasaka thought he knew why _that_ was as well. 

He needed to talk to Katsumi. He'd seemed so distant this morning. They'd both been embarrassed but maybe… it seemed to him that for Katsumi it had been more than straightforward embarrassment. Maybe he'd decided he wasn't interested after all, that only now he'd realised what exactly their relationship could involve, he wasn't so sure anymore. 

He had to find out where he stood. Takasaka had never thought of himself as the forward type and his behaviour now certainly struck him as forward, but… he had to know. He wasn't prepared to let things go as they were and just hope they resolved themselves. His last proper relationship had self-destructed because he hadn't wanted to confront the problems it had run into. He didn't want this one to go the same way. 

Since when had he considered his relationship with Katsumi a 'proper' relationship? He didn't know when he'd begun to see it like that, but he had. He wasn't prepared to let it go. 

Normally he'd have freaked out just thinking along those lines about Katsumi. Takasaka wondered why it was that today he hadn't. He'd amazed himself this morning, he'd taken everything so calmly. _Not like me._

Takasaka knew he had many character flaws. He'd never counted stubbornness among them before but what was this if it wasn't stubbornness? Katsumi's influence, he suspected. Katsumi could be very stubborn when he wanted to be. Takasaka just hoped he hadn't decided their relationship was over. He didn't know if he'd be able to talk Katsumi out of it. 

*** 

Katsumi hadn't intended to budge out of the office, but after twenty minutes he'd decided he needed to drink some coffee. Office coffee was foul, but it had caffeine in it. His mild caffeine addiction was the only thing that would have got him to leave the little room without having thought of a solution to his relationship problems. So far the only 'solution' he had found was to resign, and he didn't want to do that. They needed him to keep Koji under control. Aside from him, Takafumi was the only other one who could manage this and it wasn't fair to expect him to cope all alone. 

As irony would have it, he'd run into Takasaka on the way back to the deserted office. And of course, that had unnerved him and he'd ended up spilling the coffee over the floor and a nearby rubber plant, as well as splashing the paperwork Takasaka had been carrying. 

"Déjà vu." Katsumi said, then blushed again and examined his fingernails, the coffee on the floor, anything but have to meet Takasaka's gaze. "What?" Takasaka asked, bewildered. Katsumi looked up at him and sighed. "Sorry." he said, apropos of nothing. "For what?" What on Earth was Katsumi talking about? Katsumi hesitated. Once again he'd run out of words. "For…well, last night…" 

Takasaka put the coffee-stained papers down on a nearby desk. "Do you…" He wasn't quite sure what to say either. They'd put each other in a very embarrassing position. At least the office was practically deserted, it being lunchtime. "Do you…" Takasaka tried again, but it was still hard for him to get the words out. "Do I what?" Katsumi asked, then looked away. "Look, Taka… If I'm making you so uncomfortable then I'll go." "Go where?" Another vague statement. Did Katsumi mean he'd leave the room, that he was thinking of resigning, or what? "It's a big building." Internally, Katsumi felt like screaming. What was the problem with him today? Why couldn't he get his brain to connect with his mouth? "We don't have to see each other at all if last night's made you so…" 

He couldn't finish the sentence. 

"Do you want to?" _Finally,_ Takasaka thought. _Coherence._ "Is there something the matter?" "I think…" _What do I think?_ Katsumi wondered. 

"Do you… regret last night?" That was it. That was what he'd meant to say. He wondered if perhaps he was going crazy. They were in public, this wasn't like him… where had his discretion gone? _Does it matter? Is it really such a bad thing?_

Katsumi bit his lip and looked over one shoulder before speaking. "I love you," he said quietly. 

He'd never said it before to Takasaka. He'd never said it to any of the girls he'd dated and _meant_ it. It sounded unusual from him. 

Takasaka didn't look like he'd expected it. He probably hadn't. Another awkward situation… or at least it should have been, but for some reason it didn't feel like that to him. It felt… different. He knew that if anyone was to walk into this room and see them it would be embarrassing to say the least, not to mention near-impossible to explain. That didn't matter either. The irony of the situation was not lost on him: suddenly he felt like the impulsive one, whilst Katsumi was blushing, speaking hesitantly and looking mildly afraid. Takasaka smiled in relief. "I love you too." Katsumi looked at him, unable to quite comprehend what he'd heard. "…are you sure?" he asked after an uncomfortable pause. "I wouldn't lie to you." Katsumi blinked a couple of times. "This is just… weird. Really… I mean…" "Katsumi, you're rambling." 

As if to prove to Katsumi that nothing in life is ever so startling that any other unforeseen event seems unremarkable, Takasaka, acting on an impulse, kissed him. 

Maybe it wasn't perfect, but it was close enough to touch. 

~owari~ 

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